For those who don’t know, let me tell you about the Dopefish. The Dopefish is the second-dumbest creature in the universe. Its thought patterns go “swim, swim, hungry… swim, swim, hungry…” It was created for 1991’s Commander Keen: Goodbye Galaxy, the fourth episode of the classic PC platforming series. And it became a meme before such things really existed, cropping up as a loving in-joke in dozens of later games, especially those also made by id Software. With the news that Commander Keen is being resurrected as a – cringe – mobile game, it’s got a whole new look. And that, tragically, extends to the Dopefish. I generally try to be open-minded, even about reboots of precious childhood memories on platforms that mean nothing to me, but the Dopefish’s original design is so magnificently stupid as to be genuinely iconic. You’ve got to be careful with this stuff, and, well. Look at the new one. Its eyes are on antennae.